Dr Marie Tidball

The first time I saw the Alison Lapper Pregnant sculpture in Trafalgar Square, it took my breath away. The swollen belly of Lapper spoke of a body that was loved and carried life. It said, “I exist—bodies like mine exist, and therein there is beauty. We shall no longer be invisible.” However, unlike non-disabled women, our experiences of pregnancy have not been celebrated or discussed. When I found out in 2017 that I was pregnant, I was filled with joy and a deep connection to my body and unborn child. Growing up, the absence of disabled women’s representation in discussions of sexuality, relationships, menstruation, menopause and maternity left me feeling that my womanhood did not count—that it was vitiated by my visible physical disability. In contrast, when I was pregnant, my body was no longer just a topic of medical scrutiny; my womanhood was no longer invisible. I wanted my maternity to be embraced by a healthcare system that supported me in my journey, but that was not my reality. Instead, the system was unprepared for a body like mine. Early on, I was triaged to a genetic counselling service. I was left feeling devastated. As my pregnancy progressed, there were no specialist midwifery teams, and the lack of awareness of the interaction between my disability and maternity continued. I had to be induced at 37 weeks, leading to a caesarean section. My core muscles were severely impacted and I was left debilitated. After birth, the en-suite room I was put in was inaccessible—the very space that was meant to aid my recovery became another barrier. Upon discharge, the occupational therapy team had no specialist advice on how I could breastfeed outside of my home or carry my baby. I became increasingly dependent on family members. I was exhausted and lost my confidence, not because of anything I had done, but because the structures that were meant to support me did not know how to do so. My experience came eight years after the UN Committee on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities raised concerns that the UK had failed to mainstream disabled women’s rights into healthcare. This week, the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine has published a report demonstrating that disabled women are more likely to experience stillbirth, have lower rates of breastfeeding, and endure longer post-natal hospital stays.