Tristan Osborne

Thank you, Madam Deputy Speaker. I congratulate the hon. Member for Winchester (Dr Chambers) on his excellent speech. I note that he has a bit of a frog in his throat, but he made it well—it was fantastic. I was interested, in particular, to hear his views on “Danny the Champion of the World”. I was reminded of how quintessentially British it is to hear about fishfinger sandwiches from Southampton and Armitage Shanks from Lichfield, and to hear about Devon pasties from the hon. Member for Exmouth and Exeter East (David Reed). It is a tribute to all of us that our constituencies are such a rich tapestry of difference and diversity. It is in that tradition that I stand before you today. I believe that David Amess would be proud of this Parliament and proud of the speeches given. I pay tribute to the right hon. Member for Rayleigh and Wickford (Mr Francois), who spoke eloquently, with fond anecdotes, on the character, charm and wit of the former Member. I can say that my speech is not written on toilet paper. [Laughter.] However, I was possibly equally surprised to be elected to this Chamber as he was back in the 1980s. It is a privilege to be elected to represent the communities of Chatham, Aylesford, Snodland and the surrounding villages. We all do this not for awards or recognition, but simply because we all want to make our communities better, safer and fairer. I would like to place on record my thanks to the House staff for the welcome and support they have given all new Members over the last few weeks, especially as there are so many of us this time: the Table Office, the Speaker’s Office, the Doorkeepers, security and, as a former teacher, a special thanks to the education support assistants who do such outstanding work on tours. Yesterday, I had the great pleasure of meeting a Mr O’Sullivan, who is shortly to depart the education centre to go into teaching. I wish him all the best in that pursuit. Preparation for this speech has not been without trepidation, and I have had a significant amount of advice from Members, former Members, siblings, partners and former students alike. One piece of advice was to treat it like a wedding speech: tread carefully to keep both sides of the aisle happy and always remember to speak highly of your elders. That was until I was reminded that, as I am in my mid-40s, I am possibly one of those elders, given how the age differential has changed. Another piece of advice, from a former Member, was to always keeps the Whips happy.