Contribution
It is a pleasure to speak under your chairship, Mrs Hobhouse. I thank my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) for leading this debate so brilliantly, and of course for securing it. I am sure every dad in this room has at some point been asked, “Are you so-and-so’s dad?” I have, and it is one of my favourite things to hear. I am immensely proud when I am asked whether I am the father of my daughter or son—it even beats being asked, “Are you the MP?”
There are two core aspects of this conversation: the practical side, which is about supporting fathers to be active parents; and the cultural side, which is about the role models and the pride that we instil in young men. Starting with the practical, we recently welcomed a new member of my team who is just coming back from maternity leave. Her partner, who is self-employed, had to work six or even seven-day weeks for months before the birth of their daughter to build up enough of a financial buffer to simply be able to spend time with his partner and their newborn. She told me that, in situations like that, resentment can creep in as you begin to feel almost like a single parent. That is awful for both parents; the lack of support that others take for granted throws up so many financial and emotional challenges.
It is hardly surprising that many fathers feel that they do not have a choice. Currently, as we have heard, we have two weeks of paternity leave on less than £200 a week for employees. Meanwhile, Spanish dads get 16 weeks’ leave on full pay. Rights for employed British parents are miles behind our European neighbours, and self-employed dads do not even get those two weeks. As my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland said, the Dad Shift campaign for six weeks of paternity leave for all dads makes sense not only for families but for our economy.
That takes me on to what happens when families separate. The fathers I have spoken to want to support their children. Most want more time with their kids, but feel that the system still views them, first and foremost, as a financial provider, rather than as an equal parent. Take my constituent Matthew, who had heart surgery in June and was signed off sick for a month. When sending over his child maintenance, he underpaid by 5p due to a typo. That resulted in him being moved on to collect and pay, where a 20% collection charge is added to his payments.
Matthew is not alone; many constituents have described stress and anxiety linked to Child Maintenance Service disputes and separation from their children. Fathers have a responsibility to provide, but the current system seems out of step with where we are now at as a society. We have rightly moved on from the outdated concept that mothers’ contributions are confined to childcare and homemaking. Our systems must therefore dare to imagine that fathers are capable of more than just breadwinning.
That brings me to my second point: role models for boys and young men. In decades gone by, our role models were often fathers, stepfathers, grandfathers, uncles, teachers, coaches and scout leaders. Those influences mattered, but the world is now a much larger place. The number of voices reaching or even targeting young men has exploded. The stories we tell about men matter. They shape how young people see themselves. In a world bristling with thousands of narratives, young men are all too often bombarded with negativity, whether it is about their role in society or about the whole concept of masculinity.
We hear a lot about so-called “toxic masculinity”. I do not think any of us doubt that there are behaviours that must be challenged, but rather than leaving a void, we need positivity—around what it means to be a man and a dad—to rush in. I want my son to grow up knowing that being a man means looking after the people you love, being a dependable friend, showing courage and treating others with respect. The answer, of course is not to abandon masculinity, but to reclaim the best parts of it. That means giving boys somewhere to go and something to work towards. If a teenager sees no apprenticeship, no sports provision and no trusted adult—if, like in Staffordshire, there is a total lack of youth provision—we should not be surprised if young men look elsewhere for belonging.
I am short for time, so I will finish where I started: one day my children will be old enough that people will not stop me in the street and say, “Are you so-and-so’s dad?” That is something I will profoundly miss when I get to that point. I want more fathers to have the chance to feel the immense pride of being at the centre of their children’s world, and more men and boys to feel proud of their masculinity in all its complexity. Let us make sure that that is the message that radiates out from this House.