Contribution
It is a real pleasure to serve under your chairship, Mrs Hobhouse. Massive congratulations to my hon. Friend the Member for Bishop Auckland (Sam Rushworth) on securing this very timely debate on a topic that lights up the attention of many Members of this House. For me, the discussion about fatherhood and paternity leave has brought recollections—well, not really recollections, because I do not remember the first few weeks of my life, but my father died last year, and his death has put me in a particularly reflective cast of mind. He was so important in getting me through those first few weeks.
I was born with a cleft palate, as about 700 children a year are in the United Kingdom. That was a big shock to my father and my mother, and it put additional strain on my parents, because I was unable to swallow and feeding was very difficult. I failed to thrive in the first couple of weeks as a baby. I was losing weight quite rapidly. The medical team was insisting on one particular mode of feeding implement to get me to take food in. My mum and dad knew that it was not working, but they could not get the help they needed. Thankfully, in the end, one of the nurses in the hospital sidled up to my dad and said, “Look, the doctors won’t tell you this, but this old-fashioned device works so much better.” It was just an implement that went on the top of the bottle, and my dad put his feet right to the floor to try to find it somewhere. He went all over London, all the way from Kent to the south-east London border, and eventually wound up at a pharmacist’s in Camden Town that had it in stock. That was a huge amount of support that he had to put in. It took him away from his work. We are talking about 1974; it is not like paternity leave was a thing back then, and the expectations on men were so different.
That is just an example of how much so many fathers have to put in to support their families through those first few precious days of a child’s life. That is replicated across the country: dads are doing so much for their children and their partners—their wives and girlfriends and the mothers of their children—and it is something we have to facilitate. Not everyone will have that kind of situation, but every father, mother and parent of a new-born child will face big challenges. Particularly with the first child, it always feels like the biggest challenge you have faced in your life up to that point.
That all really matters, because the inspiration and caring that my father showed then, which were reflected through his whole life, gave me the confidence to move into a caring profession as a nurse and to have a take on masculinity that is not so bound by the conventions of society and the manosphere problems we are talking about.
I see versions of that all over. In my constituency, there is an inspirational boxing club, the Apex Boxing Academy in Sheerness. Absolutely, it is a boxing club; it is about young people learning how to channel their aggressive impulses into discipline. There are the dads who support it as volunteers, and it has also built in not just practical support around the boxing, but counselling and mental health support for the boys and girls learning to box. The club is really showing how masculinity, fatherhood or just being a man in the world do not have to fit into any preconceived box—whether that is this aggro, toxic masculinity or, indeed, some other form of masculinity that people may not feel so confident buying into—because it is a very complicated world that we live in.
All of that is inspirational to me. It is why I strongly support this push for six fully paid weeks of paternity leave for fathers. The Women and Equalities Committee published a report pushing for that last year. I was lucky to go to Spain with the Committee this year to see how the policy is working in Spain. It is brilliant; from talking to people, it is clear that it has been transformational. If we followed the Spanish example in my constituency, 880 dads a year would absolutely take the offer up. That would be an incredible change for people in Sittingbourne and Sheppey. I strongly commend it to the Minister.